Vampires and Phlebotomists Aren't That Different

Remember when I blacked out? Well I saw my doctor the following Monday and she ran every test in the book on me. After testing for strokes, brain tumors and heart disease, she ordered blood tests. EEEEEK! But in order to test my blood, it had to be first morning virgin blood, untainted by sugar or vitamin supplements. That meant I had to fast. Gulp. The whole reason for the tests was to discover why I was getting light headed and passing out. Getting my blood drawn makes me light headed. Fasting makes me light headed. Doing both together did not seem like a good idea. Despite my skepticism, I scheduled the blood test for the next morning. 

I arrived for my test with a purse full of granola bars in case I got light headed and needed some sugar in my blood. And I was starving. The nurse took 3 vials. 3?! Would there be any left? What do they need with all of that blood? I was kind of surprised that they needed so much blood. When Beatrice got her iron levels checked, a droplet was collected. Diabetics prick a finger to test their blood sugar levels. What on earth do those blood sucking vampires phlebotomists need with 3 vials of my life juice????

Afterwards, I felt okay and left for home, scarfing down granola all the way. I got an email from my doctor saying that my B12 levels came back questionable. I immediately googled B12 deficiency and found some scary information about daily injections and supplements. It sounded horrible but the symptoms included a lot of what was happening to me. Of course, the doctor needed to do more tests to determine this for sure and that meant they would need to draw more blood. Great. Now they were trying to drain me. 

I was given instructions to go to another lab to have the remaining blood in my veins drawn. I put it off for a few days but finally arrived at the lab with Beatrice in tow. This vamp took me right back and proceeded to collect 4 vials. And when she removed the syringe from my arm, blood continued to gush out of my veins. It was disgusting and surreal. Beatrice just sat there looking at me like "why are you letting this blood sucker suck all of your blood, Mom?" And I was like......well, I was really light headed and barfy at that moment so I wasn't like anything. I just wanted to get out of there without bleeding out. And I really wished I remembered the granola bars. 

After 2 different needles and 7 vials of blood later in less than a week, I realized that I hate being a pincushion. And I really hate medical stuff. I began praying that the B12s would be normal and I that wouldn't have to be stuck anymore for a long time. Thanks be to God, my tests came back normal. My doctor said that a lot of people have blood flow issues after having a baby and gave me some helpful counting exercises when I get up each morning so I won't black out again. Also, with my frequent migraines, blood tends to leave my head altogether on the regular. Nice. 

So I am healthy and back to my super-human self. I have not had any more episodes and am taking the time to care for myself like the doctor suggested. If I have it my way, those phlebotomists won't be seeing the likes of my blood for a long, long time. And if anyone knows what they do with all of that blood, please enlighten me. Because to me, they aren't that different from vampires.